Dangerous biscotti

*i cannot find the original recipe that I used. It was a random blog but if some one recognizes this please let me know so I can credit them!

I’m not a gluten free girl. I eat two pieces of peanut butter toast EVERYDAY. Hank the Tank and I have a morning ritual: after getting ready we head downstairs. I pop my toast (super awesome ancient grains organic wheat bread from Costco) in the toaster and then Hank and I practice commands. I put all natural Jiff (I swear this is the best tasting PB on the planet. This is pretty much the only item I buy full price at the grocery store. Ever.) and then Hank gets to lick the knife. So if you’ve used a knife at my house then sorry I’m not sorry.

Anyways. Back to gluten free. We have a few family members and friends with diet restrictions – most commonly gluten free, diary free, and the vegetarian spectrum. So I’ve been playing around with the flour alternatives, especially knowing that almond flour > white flour. More protein, keeps you full etc. I also have been trying to replace sugar with raw honey. Because that’s way better for you than white sugar. I just don’t want my ingredients to say “bleached” on them, ya know?

I picked biscotti because it’s fancy. And supposed to be hard and a bit crunchy. (Common complaints I’ve heard about GF cookies is that they are flat and hard so that just works in your favor with biscotti.) I found almond flour at Wegmans (and at Shoppers) and went to town.

**there was a serious medical mishap that occurred while baking these. I put it at the bottom so if you’re squeamish you can easily avoid it. This is also the reason I don’t have any photos of the process.

Ingredients
1 1/4 almond flour
1 tbs rice flour (the original recipe called for some weird ingredient. I substituted rice flour because that’s what I had on hand. No idea if it helped.)
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup honey
Add ins of your choosing. I put in about 1/3 cup of mixed pistachios and cranberries.

Step 1: preheat oven to 350
Step 2: combine all dry ingredients except of add ins in a food processor
Step 3: add the honey. Pulse until you have a little dough ball. WATCH YOUR FINGERS.
Step 4: take your dough ball out and mix it with your add ins.
Step 5: make it into and awkward log, throw it on some parchment paper (not the same thing as wax paper as I found out)
Step 6: bake for about 15 minutes or until golden brown.
Step 7: take the log out if the oven and let it sit for an hour.
Step 8: cut the log with a sharp knife on the diagonal to get biscotti shaped slices. Place the slices flat side down on new parchment paper
Step 9: bake at 300 for 10-15 minutes
Step 10: allow to cool completely. They’ll still be pretty soft at first so just let them be.
Step 11: dip in chocolate, drizzle icing, add chopped nuts, etc. So many options! Or do nothing and just enjoy how tasty they are

This recipe makes a very small amount. Maybe 13-16 pieces. I took two pieces to work everyday and they were amazing with an afternoon cup if tea. Plus, because they’re a little but sweet and salty (oops, I used salted pistachios) they killed any end of day cravings. Maybe the almond flour gave them extra staying power? Or the fact that you drink a big cup of tea while eating them does? Either way less hunger at the end of the day is always a good thing.

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Ok so terrifying story: I don’t have a food processor so my dumb ass thought: hey! Let’s use the immersion blender. So I did. And all the batter got stuck in it. So I got off as much as I could took the blender over near the sink, STUCK MY THUMB IN IT to try and clear some of the batter AND THEN ACCIDENTALLY HIT THE BUTTON. I’ve never been so terrified. My adrenaline went crazy, I pulled the blade out of my finger/thumbnail, rinsed my finger, stuck things back together (BARF) and wrapped it in a paper towel. Then I poured a large glass of wine and sat on the couch until my husband got home. He looked at it, said it was staying together well enough that I didn’t need stitches, and drive me to pick up hydrogen peroxide, neosporin, Hello Kitty band aids, pizza, and more wine. <- HUSBAND OF THE YEAR YALL. It looks like my thumb and I will survive but *gulp* my thumbnail may not. Thanks in advance for your prayers… For my thumb or stupidity. It's up to you.

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